Forever Unlucky

Deep thinking and I consider myself unlucky. I don't know why I was created to be unlucky. I have bucks of problem that I don't know what the solution. I pray harder so that God hear my prayer but He never listen & do anything. I am not that religious type of person, I might never thankful for what I have but at least hear my prayer, and show me the way. I am not asking for a good wealth, I just want to solve my problem. No one listen, I guess I am gonna die with poor heart & life. Why must I born like this... Sounds like ungrateful of everything but I am just expressing my feeling. I tried harder, but I got nothing. Is that a life quest?? People say, God will never tested us something that we couldn't handle. I am about to that.. how to handle everything if I got nothing. It makes me to not to trust what I believe. I used to believe that God will always show his ways.. unfortunately, He never.. Maybe he did but I can see it. I don't blame God but I blame my life... Why should I born like this. I'm sick of being in this box... I can't think further.. My head hurts & my heart has a terrible pain. Suffering is a terrible pain. I can't hold my anger anymore... even I can't hod this feeling... It was abuse & only God know who abuse my feeling.. Maybe he's the one because I ask for his help but he never listen. I don't blame you dear God but I just expressing what I feel about you. I might not that Good but at least hear my prayer... I don't ask much.. I just want you to hear me & show me the way on how to solve all this.. I know you know better my situation right now. I believe that some people get suicide because no one hear them.

Please get me rid from the unlucky thingy.If only I can ask you for something & you fulfilled it... I would be thankful. Please & please.. I am begging you Dear God... I know you are not heartless.. I still have the faith & believe but it will disappear soon.. (Maybe).. My heart say God is cruel but my mind keep telling me that it is not good to blame you... Forgive me & hear me... That's the only word I can say...

I'm Sick of MIGRAINE...

Is there any cure for MIGRAINE??

I've been suffering since I was little, I don't exactly remember my age when I was having heavy headache but as what I remember is I was suffered during my secondary school until now. I thought it was a normal headache but I usually been suffered most of the time. My eyes got blurred while I am not having problem with eyes sight. So, it force me to wear Speck so that I can get over from the painful. I guess I have been having MIGRAINE like forever, when I have it I can barely open my eyes, I become weak and too sensitive
to light & sound (That makes me hate Loud music so much- Its stressful)... Sometimes I feel like vomiting & paining damn badly... The headache was too severe, I was feeling dizzy like I would fall the other moment and also felt very urghhhh!!! Its terrible... If only there's a cure for migraine.. When I am about to have a heavy painful headache, it always makes me mad when people talk to me and its stressful when they talk to me/turn on music (Even if its not loud) makes me so damn stress...

p/s: Please understand my situation when I get mad for nothing... Sometimes a heavy head made me so... I don't know why but sound/music really made me sick sometimes. I love peaceful situation.. without sound effect around.. I truly appreciate it if you could understand me because soon to be sound/music would kill me.

Dream

Hello Thursday!! I woke up early today... 

What a Weird dreamt I have last night. I tried to figure it out by searching the dream translation by Google but still I don't get the meaning. I was crossing the long bridge (Which I don't even know where) and someone shows me that there's a 7 Wonder. So I been through each wonder, what a dream. While I am at the middle of the bridge, I saw a Motorboat crossed the river/sea (I don't know whether its a River/Sea). I don't know what inside the boat but every time the boat cross the river/sea something will collapse which I don't understand why. And I was told that inside the boat is human body/dead people. I know some of the people around me in my dream but I never met some of them before. Yet, I wonder what the meaning of my dream and why should I dreamt that kind of dream. 

Responsibility

Responsibility is the key of everything. I notice that, many people still don't get the true meaning of being responsible. Too many people play "THE BLAME GAME". Everyone been through tough times, but not everyone fully responsible on what they really been through. Some might pointing finger to one another when there are something wrong happen. We often don't realize that every action we take every day will have an effect on everything else in our lives. We seem to forget that "Yesterday was tomorrow".

Life's is not that easy. I remember those days when I was little, I never take full responsibility of myself or in everything I do. I am selfish and I never admit my mistakes until one day my mum scolded me for being such a Spoilt-brat. I truly hate it when someone scolded me in front of people but that was what my mum did. I ever hate her for treating me that way. I didn't spoke to her for a months. It is not that I truly hate her but I am scared of her because the way she treated me. But, I learned a lesson that she will be always my mum and she will never changed.

However, I thank her for the life she's given to me. She taught us (Me & my siblings) to be responsible for everything, to respect people and to be a human. We didn't come from a perfect family but my mum has a perfect heart and she's the one who taught me a lot of life's lesson. Besides, she always remind us to be responsible no matter what.

Maybe I'm thinking too much

Good Morning world~ Have a pleasant day & May today will be much better than yesterday... There will be interview with RHB bank today at 1Borneo. Thinking of attending or not.. I am so not ready for the interview but I just hope that God always be with me and show his way. 

So many things on my mind. I am confuse & I don't know how to think at the right track. My mind is so heavy now. The awkward feeling also mixed up and I am totally out. I don't even know whether I am in the right place. Should or shouldn't.. it makes me so damn sick. 

Mamutik Island

Good Evening!!! I just woke up.. Feel so damn tired.. Huh~ Today I went for the short trip to Mamutik Island.. So tiring but interesting.. I truly enjoy my day and the exciting moment was SNORKELLING.. This is the first time I went to the Island and I enjoy the Snorkelling moment which I never experienced before. Damn!! It's fun~ I saw many beautiful fish beneath the Sea.. God creature is very beautiful. I just can't imagine how wonderful they are until I figure it myself.

I almost missed the moment when I decided to not to rent the Snorkelling.. Luckily my boyfie rent the snorkelling for me.. So we enjoy snorkelling together & we had fun!! However, I got SUNBURN and me no Likey~ Yeewwww, I hate it when I am getting dark...

Be Thankful

Before you ask God for what you want, first thank God for what you have.

I often request something without thankful God for everything he gave me & Blame God for not giving what I want. I should be thankful rather than complaining my life to God. There are thousand of homeless people out there, they are starving for food and no place to live. Each day they fought to survive, I should be thankful for not be one of them. I supposed to pray for the world PEACE and May all the homeless are blessed and get their happiness because they deserve to be happy and live peacefully. A prayer could save someone life's.

I remember that I have so many listing things I wanted to achieve. Everything on the list were good things that I knew God wanted for me. To my amazement every single thing I wish, I know God hear everything but the time is not yet to come. Maybe he have a good plan for my life.I should believe and receive everything happen in life not to complain everything happen but to be thankful. There are no such things that when I keep on asking & repeat my prayer every single day, my prayer answered. I shouldn't hoping hardly but to believe. God miracles are more powerful than fairy. I must to stop thinking like a fairytale ~ Be realistic

Thank you Lord~

Thank You Ms. Bad Luck

Thank you Ms. Bad Luck for ruin my happiness. I never knw that you are so damn powerful. You never let me enjoy my moment. You're selfish and damn freaking selfish!! I truly hate you Ms. Bad Luck...

Since I was little, I never consider myself that unlucky. But, when I recall things back, yeah I never lucky all this while. Ms. Bad Luck always ruin my happiness. She never stop until I fall.. Luckily I am strong enough to face this all. Ms Bad Luck always there and she will never leave me behind.. until when..???? I cannot guarantee the time.. maybe it will remain forever until I die. I would never be lucky as Paris Hilton.

I know who created you Ms. Bad Luck, I won't blame you.. But I am very thankful to those who created you.

Tomatoes...

The entry title is tomatoes??? Why??Why??Why???? I am just too bored and I don't know what should I do.. So, I came up with a Good Idea ever.. Wearing tomato as Face mask.. This mask is perfect for any skin type, works like magic and simple. Use tomato on your SKIN. Tomatoes make an excellent skin treatment for everything from large pores and acne to rashes and more. Just cut a small sized raw tomato into two halves and gently rub both halves on your face in a circular motion. Leave it for 30 mins or more.. then rinse your face completely... Your skin will be more fairer and smooth~ Sure to see a big difference in your skin. You don't need to spend money to look beautiful, you can do your home made mask and be pretty!! Lovely smell & save your cash~ Phewwww... However, Let me remind you to not to EAT Tomato~ It's taste sucks, only good for skin therapy... Ngeh~ I wonder why my MUM Loves tomatoes so much, I mean she loves to EAT tomatoes while I am NOT..

What differentiate me & my mum is, I use TOMATO as SKIN CARE.. My Mum eat TOMATO for HEALTH. I say TOMATO is VEGETABLE, she say TOMATO is FRUIT... Whatever it is, I used to agreed whenever she say Tomato is rich of Vitamins & Minerals... Not only for skin but for good health. Eating tomato maintaining healthy skin, body and anti-ageing. It makes you look younger Just like my lovely Mum...

Sigh* Everytime if I say Tomato, the first person cross my mind is her. No one else, but her... Tomatoes..

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard. Do not believe in anything simply because everyone is talking about. Do not believe in anything simply because it's written in your religious books. Do not believe something just because their teachers say is true. Do not believe in traditions because they were only passed down from generation to generation. But after much analysis and observation, if you see something that agrees with reason, and that leads to the good and benefit of all, accept it and live it!

Living in the moment..

I stopped being who I wish I was.. I got to be who I really am, realized that one should not stop to take the discussions seriously. Is a waste of time, when someone challenges me, does not arouse my anger more. Just learned that criticisms only serve empty the mind, So I prefer to dispense with them. I'd rather spend my time with good things, speaking honest words, spreading good cheer and positive energy out there. See life in a way far more sweet is much more exciting. Behind every bad thought lurks the desire to be happy. You win happiness through what we are and what we do. Do not try to be what you're not, do not delude yourself with a life full of tempting promises after much, I learned that. Yes and now I can say I'm happy.

Wavy Feelings...

LOVE is like a SEA.. Sometimes it's coming as a HIGH wave.. Sometimes it's a FLAT wave.. Sometimes I truly feel the Love but sometimes I felt like the love is just everywhere.. I don't know what the feeling is especially when someone not always telling the truth. I know past is past, but it hurt to recall back what past brought us... People change, so do I.. I cannot always please people. I sacrificed most of my time thinking of you, build the love for you but at the end, I am not sure whether you truly deserve it. I did everything but it seems like nothing for you. Hmmm... Sometimes it's easy for us to judge others. Comment on others' situations, but when we're in their shoes, we realize how hard it is.

You'll only understand me when you really in my shoes but you'll never fit my shoes. That means, you'll never understand... If I force you to stay to be with me, tell me and I'll set you free. I am not the only woman and I don't think that I am the one for you... Too many secrets keep, it makes the wavy feelings.. I believe in you but you always broke that..

As you know, I never walk/ out /love /date/ flirt /with other guy as what you did. Can I say, "Like mother Like son"..

I'm just expressing my feelings... Good Morning!!

Life Quote'

Life is full of FAKE people. It is so easy to believe when they tell you exactly what you want to hear. When a person shows you who they really are, believe them the first time. Some people are only nice for their own convenience. You have to distance yourself from these people otherwise they will hang around as long as you let them. The type of people who only call when they need something or come around when it's beneficial to them. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. Sometimes the one person you'd take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun.

July

Hello July and Bye2 June.. I hope July will be awesome unlike June.. I'd been through all life circumstances, I never feel the happiness and I never know what actually June brought me.. June is totally sucks... I hope more luck and fortune July be.. For now, My head is really damn sucks. I cannot think of anything, blends of thought keep playing on my mind. I don't know what should I do and I supposed to do. Life's really sucks. Stressful is everywhere. No solution & I can't even find any.

&#$%^**&*(*&^%*****()()

Blurrrrr....